Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. George Bernard Shaw View this quote
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. George Bernard Shaw
George Bernard Shaw
I was married once – in San Francisco. I haven’t seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There’s no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren’t all bad. W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
I hate the waiting room. Because it’s called the waiting room, there’s no chance of not waiting. It’s built, designed, and intended for waiting. Why would they take you right away when they’ve got this room all set up? Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I’m leaving. Steven Wright
Steven Wright
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven’t spoken since. Steven Wright
I know I’m not going to understand women. I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. Jerry Seinfeld
If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that’s what I’d be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong. Marlon Wayans
Marlon Wayans
I know I can’t play funny roles in movies. I tried, and it didn’t work. Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone
I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn’t. Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Why do banks charge you a ‘non-sufficient funds fee’ on money they already know you don’t have? Steven Wright
