Smoking cures weight problems, eventually. Steven Wright View this quote
Smoking cures weight problems, eventually. Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have. Steven Wright
I don’t own any stocks or bonds. All my money is tied up in debt. George Carlin
George Carlin
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. Steven Wright
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get. W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
Crosses only scare vampires away because they’re allergic to bullshit. Richard Pryor
Richard Pryor
I don’t think of myself as a comedian, but as an artist, a scientist and chemist who just happens to be funny. I started doing stand-up to add another level to my game. I feel that I’m a young rookie with a veteran’s skill. Marlon Wayans
Marlon Wayans
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted. W. C. Fields
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. Steven Wright
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure. W. C. Fields
