Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge. Jerry Seinfeld View this quote
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge. Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
Everybody in New York City knows there’s way more cars than parking spaces. You see cars driving in New York all hours of the night. Its like musical chairs except everybody sat down around 1964. Jerry Seinfeld
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too? Steven Wright
Steven Wright
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? Steven Wright
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either. W. C. Fields
Fear of success is one of the new fears I’ve heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we’re running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel. Jerry Seinfeld
Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter. Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney
Before, I guess, mum and dad were everything, but now, in my case, I had two new girls and all of a sudden they’re completely dependent on you and there’s a third generation. It’s a funny shift all of a sudden. You have the babies, you have yourself and then you have your parents. Roger Federer
Roger Federer
There is no vaccine against stupidity. Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein
