All magic is ‘Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over’. Jerry Seinfeld View this quote
All magic is ‘Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over’. Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld
A black, a Puerto Rican and a Mexican are in a car. Who’s driving? The police. Muhammad Ali
Muhammad Ali
It’s funny what a few no-hitters do for a body. Satchel Paige
Satchel Paige
When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I’m presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I’ve been living in a bubble. And I like it. Woody Allen
Woody Allen
If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that’s produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you’ll notice is that they don’t laugh. Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans. Steven Wright
Steven Wright
I went into a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically. Steven Wright
When I’m being funny, I try not to offend. I don’t think much of what I’ve done has been in really ghastly taste. I don’t think I have embarrassed many people or distressed them. Kurt Vonnegut
Kurt Vonnegut
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Steven Wright
Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic – you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner. Jerry Seinfeld
