Zach Galifianakis

I would have changed my last name if being famous were my goal.

Zach Galifianakis

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

Zach Galifianakis

I’m the most mellow person offstage. I think it’s just, going onstage lets me get out some frustration that I’m too shy to do in real life. Instead of doing it in private, I’d rather do it in front of 1,000 people who’ve paid $25 to see me lose my mind.

Zach Galifianakis

I’ve never been in love… But I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.

Zach Galifianakis

If you read my blog, you know I’m a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Zach Galifianakis

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

Zach Galifianakis

It’s fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don’t play on emotion too much.

Zach Galifianakis

My dad doesn’t get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn’t understand them. He’s just laughing because people around him are laughing.

Zach Galifianakis

My father used to beat me with his belt… while it was still on him.

Zach Galifianakis

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Zach Galifianakis