Woody Allen

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Woody Allen

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

Woody Allen

I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it’s the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.

Woody Allen

I work all the time because it’s a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.

Woody Allen

I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.

Woody Allen

I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member.

Woody Allen

I wouldn’t necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It’s nice to be gorgeous whether you’re male or female assuming you don’t lose whatever else you have.

Woody Allen

I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.

Woody Allen

I write the script; nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That’s why I’ve always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There’s no excuse for me not to be great except that I’m not.

Woody Allen

I’d always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.

Woody Allen