Woody Allen

I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don’t see any advantage in this whatsoever.

Woody Allen

I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.

Woody Allen

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.

Woody Allen

I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.

Woody Allen

I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.

Woody Allen

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.

Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.

Woody Allen

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

Woody Allen

I think I’ve gotten technically better over the years but you’d have to be a fool not to. I’ve made so many movies that by sheer quantity you get better at the technique.

Woody Allen

I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man’s plight in this mysterious universe.

Woody Allen