Woody Allen

I don’t wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.

Woody Allen

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Woody Allen

I don’t want to live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Woody Allen

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Woody Allen

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.

Woody Allen

I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.

Woody Allen

I foresee death by culture shock.

Woody Allen

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Woody Allen

I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.

Woody Allen

I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don’t tan – I stroke!

Woody Allen