Woody Allen

I don’t believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.

Woody Allen

I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Woody Allen

I don’t inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can’t not hold one.

Woody Allen

I don’t know enough to be incompetent.

Woody Allen

I don’t like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.

Woody Allen

I don’t like to reminisce much, and my walls don’t have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff. I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.

Woody Allen

I don’t own a computer. I’ve never seen anything online at all – nothing. I don’t own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It’s not an act of rebellion. I’m just not a gadget person.

Woody Allen

I don’t rely on anybody except my own judgment. I don’t get much input. I don’t know if that’s helped me or if I would be better off if I did rely on someone.

Woody Allen

I don’t think my film style has changed. I’m doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.

Woody Allen

I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.

Woody Allen