Sam Levenson

A woman’s place is in the home. Why should she go out and take away a workingman’s pay instead of staying home and stealing out of his jacket like a good wife.

Sam Levenson

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others’ children.

Sam Levenson

At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an ‘aggressor.’

Sam Levenson

Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village.

Sam Levenson

Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.

Sam Levenson

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

Sam Levenson

Give your child a spanking once a day. If you don’t know why, he does.

Sam Levenson

How wise are thy commandments, Lord. Each of them applies to somebody I know.

Sam Levenson

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Sam Levenson

I’m gonna put all my money into taxes. They’re sure to go up.

Sam Levenson