Robert A. Heinlein

I don’t trust a man who talks about ethics when he is picking my pocket. But if he is acting in his own self-interest and says so, I have usually been able to work out some way to do business with him.

Robert A. Heinlein

I have never been able to see life as anything but a vast complicated practical joke, and it’s better to laugh than cry.

Robert A. Heinlein

I know why we laugh. We laugh because it hurts, and it’s the only thing to make it stop hurting.

Robert A. Heinlein

I never do anything I don’t want to do. Nor does anyone, but in my case I am always aware of it.

Robert A. Heinlein

I’m too much old-timer to be rude to a woman no matter what – they have so much of what we have none of.

Robert A. Heinlein

If it has to be done, a man-a real man-shoots his own dog himself; he doesn’t hire a proxy who may bungle it.

Robert A. Heinlein

If the universe has any purpose more important than topping a woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I’ve never heard of it.

Robert A. Heinlein

If we blow ourselves up we will do it by misapplication of science; if we manage to keep from blowing ourselves up, it will be through intelligent application of science.

Robert A. Heinlein

In a dilemma, it is helpful to change any variable, then reexamine the problem.

Robert A. Heinlein

In a family argument, if it turns out you are right, apologize at once.

Robert A. Heinlein