Milton Berle

If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.

Milton Berle

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

Milton Berle

I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I’d rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

Milton Berle

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Milton Berle

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

Milton Berle

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.

Milton Berle

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, ‘Did you miss a step?’ ‘No,’ he answers, ‘I hit every one of them!’

Milton Berle

A thing of beauty is a job forever.

Milton Berle

All my wife wanted for Valentine’s Day was a little card – American Express.

Milton Berle

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there’s never one around.

Milton Berle