Mark Twain

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

Mark Twain

Humor is man’s greatest blessing.

Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

I’m in favor of progress; it’s change I don’t like.

Mark Twain

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

Mark Twain

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Mark Twain

Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Mark Twain

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Mark Twain

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

Mark Twain

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Mark Twain