Mark Twain

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Mark Twain

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be-a Christian.

Mark Twain

If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat.

Mark Twain

If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?

Mark Twain

If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.

Mark Twain

If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.

Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain

If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile.

Mark Twain

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain’t so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

Mark Twain

In ‘Huckleberry Finn,’ I have drawn Tom Blankenship exactly as he was. He was ignorant, unwashed, insufficiently fed; but he had as good a heart as ever any boy had.

Mark Twain