Mark Twain

I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.

Mark Twain

I simply can’t resist a cat, particularly a purring one.

Mark Twain

I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.

Mark Twain

I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world.

Mark Twain

I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.

Mark Twain

I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead–and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier.

Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

Mark Twain

I told you this would happen. But, no, you had to go for the buffet, didn’t you?

Mark Twain

I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one… Then I thought he was a genus.

Mark Twain

I was a-trembling, because I’d got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.

Mark Twain