Mark Twain

I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn’t break my bonds.

Mark Twain

I have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.

Mark Twain

I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.

Mark Twain

I haven’t a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.

Mark Twain

I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.

Mark Twain

I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn’t.

Mark Twain

I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.

Mark Twain

I like the truth sometimes, but I don’t care enough for it to hanker after it.

Mark Twain

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!

Mark Twain

I never did a thing in all my life, virtuous or otherwise that I didn’t repent of within twenty-four hours.

Mark Twain