Mark Twain

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Mark Twain

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

Mark Twain

I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.

Mark Twain

I asked tom if countries always apologize when they had done wrong, and he says, ‘Yes, the little one does.’

Mark Twain

I begin to see that a man’s got to be in his own heaven to be happy.

Mark Twain

I believe I have had the most trouble with a portrait which I painted in installments – the head on one canvas and the bust on another.

Mark Twain

I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.

Mark Twain

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

Mark Twain

I can speak French but I cannot understand it.

Mark Twain

I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.

Mark Twain