Mark Twain

Germany, the diseased world’s bathhouse.

Mark Twain

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live.

Mark Twain

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he’s a dead man. An Irishman’s stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

Mark Twain

Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

Mark Twain

Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.

Mark Twain

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Mark Twain

God has put something noble and good into every heart His hand created.

Mark Twain

God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.

Mark Twain

God pours out love upon all with a lavish hand — but He reserves vengeance for His very own.

Mark Twain