Mark Twain

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Mark Twain

Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Mark Twain

Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.

Mark Twain

English humor is hard to appreciate, though, unless you are trained to it. The English papers, in reporting my speeches, always put ‘laughter’ in the wrong place.

Mark Twain

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

Mark Twain

Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit; well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.

Mark Twain

Ethical man: A Christian holding four aces.

Mark Twain

Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.

Mark Twain

Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died; but by and by, you only regret that you didn’t see him do it.

Mark Twain

Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.

Mark Twain