Mark Twain

Adam did not want the apple for the apple’s sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

Mark Twain

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

Mark Twain

Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it.

Mark Twain

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

Mark Twain

After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.

Mark Twain

Against a diseased imagination demonstration goes for nothing.

Mark Twain

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

Mark Twain

Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.

Mark Twain

Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments – notably those of the violin – but it seems to set a piano’s teeth on edge.

Mark Twain

Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to sleep simply by getting out his blocks and mortar and building an addition to a church.

Mark Twain