Mark Twain

A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

Mark Twain

A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes; when bad, he is entitled to none at all.

Mark Twain

A new oath holds pretty well; but… when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.

Mark Twain

A Patriot is someone who stands for his country always, and for his government when it is deserved.

Mark Twain

A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.

Mark Twain

A person who has during all time maintained the imposing position of spiritual head of four-fifths of the human race, and political head of the whole of it, must be granted the possession of executive abilities of the loftiest order.

Mark Twain

A photograph is a most important document, and there is nothing more damning to go down to posterity than a silly, foolish smile caught and fixed forever.

Mark Twain

A pilot must have a memory developed to absolute perfection. But there are two higher qualities which he also must have. He must have good and quick judgment and decision, and a cool, calm courage that no peril can shake.

Mark Twain

A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader’s way and makes it plain.

Mark Twain

A proud man is one who waits for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Mark Twain