Mark Twain

A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.

Mark Twain

A journalist is a reporter out of a job.

Mark Twain

A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually waste away, and eventually die.

Mark Twain

A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can’t legally be a Christian and a patriot – except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.

Mark Twain

A man may have no bad habits and have worse.

Mark Twain

A man may plan as much as he wants to, but nothing of consequence is likely to come of it until the magician circumstance steps in and takes the matter off his hands.

Mark Twain

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose.

Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn’t likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn’t likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!

Mark Twain

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Mark Twain

A man’s first duty is to his own conscience and honor; the party and country come second to that, and never first.

Mark Twain