Mark Twain

When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.

Mark Twain

A better idea than my own is to listen.

Mark Twain

A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

Mark Twain

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Mark Twain

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Mark Twain

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

Mark Twain

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public.

Mark Twain

A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can’t travel any way but sideways and backways.

Mark Twain

A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.

Mark Twain

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

Mark Twain