Lucille Ball

I don’t know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me… anecdotes. But never a joke.

Lucille Ball

I don’t think you should write a book until you tell the absolute truth. You can’t do that until you’re 85, and I don’t want to live that long. I’ve always prided myself on knowing when to get off, and I hope it works out that way.

Lucille Ball

I dyed my hair this crazy red to bid for attention. It has become a trademark, and I’ve got to keep it this way.

Lucille Ball

I never thought I was funny. I don’t think funny.

Lucille Ball

I regret the passing of the studio system. I was very appreciative of it because I had no talent.

Lucille Ball

I was shy for several years in my early days in Hollywood until I figured out that no one really gave a damn if I was shy or not, and I got over my shyness.

Lucille Ball

I’m happy that I have brought laughter because I have been shown by many the value of it in so many lives, in so many ways.

Lucille Ball

I’m not funny. My writers were funny. My direction was funny. I am not funny. What I am is brave.

Lucille Ball

I’m not sure that I want to be without some lack of confidence. If you are too sure of yourself, you don’t grow. You may feel confident in some things, but other fields come up as a challenge. And if you don’t anticipate trouble, you will be in trouble.

Lucille Ball

Knowing what you can not do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that’s good taste.

Lucille Ball