Josh Billings

The unfortunate do not pity the unfortunate.

Josh Billings

The wicked often work harder to go to hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

Josh Billings

There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient.

Josh Billings

There are people so addicted to exaggeration they can’t tell the truth without lying.

Josh Billings

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

Josh Billings

There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough.

Josh Billings

There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.

Josh Billings

There is no limit to the vanity of this world. Each spoke in the wheel thinks the whole strength of the wheel depends upon it.

Josh Billings

There is no passion of the human heart that promises so much and pays so little as revenge.

Josh Billings

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow’s sister.

Josh Billings