Josh Billings

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

Josh Billings

Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain’t handsome.

Josh Billings

Biography is the best form of history.

Josh Billings

Clothes form the intellect of the dandy.

Josh Billings

Common sense is an instinct given to man and enough of it is genius. Smartness is measured by the level of common sense one has, not by how much educated or knowledgeable he is.

Josh Billings

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

Josh Billings

Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

Josh Billings

Don’t ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

Josh Billings

Error will slip through a crack, while truth will stick in a doorway.

Josh Billings

Every man should know something of law; if he knows enough to keep out of it, he is a pretty good lawyer.

Josh Billings