Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin View this quote
A pear is a failed apple. George Carlin
George Carlin
A scary dream makes your heart beat faster. Why doesn’t the part of your brain that controls your heartbeat realize that another part of your brain is making the whole thing up? Don’t these people communicate? George Carlin
All patriarchal societies are either preparing for war, at war, or recovering from war. George Carlin
Always do whatever’s next. George Carlin
An art thief is a man who takes pictures. George Carlin
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything. George Carlin
As far as I’m concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that’s worth believing. George Carlin
As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up. George Carlin
At 68 I’m every age I ever was. I always think of that. I’m not just 68. I’m also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three. George Carlin
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin
American stand-up comedian
May 12th, 1937 - June 22nd, 2008
