George Carlin

The nicest thing about laughter is that the moment a person laughs, he or she is never more himself.

George Carlin

There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.

George Carlin

We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.

George Carlin

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.

George Carlin

Your house is nothing more than a place to keep your stuff… while you go out and get… more stuff.

George Carlin

A crazy person doesn’t really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.

George Carlin

A crumb is a great thing: If you break a crumb in half, you don’t get two half-crumbs, you get two crumbs. Doesn’t that violate some law of physics?

George Carlin

A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.

George Carlin

A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. It doesn’t only represent the good things. If you burn the flag, you’re burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. it’s only a symbol. It’s only a piece of cloth.

George Carlin

A good motto to live by: ‘Always try not to get killed.’

George Carlin