Frank Zappa

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

Frank Zappa

Studied law, but not qualified to practice it.

Frank Zappa

The difference between religions and cults is determined by how much real estate is owned.

Frank Zappa

The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree of knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on.

Frank Zappa

The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business.

Frank Zappa

The last election just laid the foundation of the next 500 years of Dark Ages.

Frank Zappa

The lifestyle that I have is probably neither desirable nor useful to most people.

Frank Zappa

The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.

Frank Zappa

The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.

Frank Zappa

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

Frank Zappa