Ellen DeGeneres

The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said ‘God Bless you’ I said, ‘I didn’t sneeze’ She looked deep into my eyes and said, ‘You will, eventually.’ And damn it if she wasn’t right. Two days later I sneezed.

Ellen DeGeneres

The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes.

Ellen DeGeneres

The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was – it really is, I have a career despite myself.

Ellen DeGeneres

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

Ellen DeGeneres

The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, “I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today.

Ellen DeGeneres

Then you panic because you’ve never known the difference between a sweet potato and a yam and both are on the counter, and if you start making a yam pie you’ll never hear the end of it.

Ellen DeGeneres

There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don’t even understand how anyone would want that job at all. Although I would be able to play golf which I don’t seem to have time now.

Ellen DeGeneres

There’s even a name for the people who have the most stuff. They’re called hoarders. Back in the day they were just called grandmothers.

Ellen DeGeneres

Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I’m openly gay.

Ellen DeGeneres

Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony.

Ellen DeGeneres