Ellen DeGeneres

People love gossip. It’s the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going.

Ellen DeGeneres

Please raise your children with love and non-judgement. Tell them everyone has the right to love who they want to love. It shouldn’t threaten you or who you are.

Ellen DeGeneres

Portia and I constantly say to each other, ‘We are so lucky.’ Sometimes it’s lying in bed at night before I go to sleep, and I just say thank you to whatever, whoever is out there.

Ellen DeGeneres

Slow down your mind. Slower. Think about how slow you have to drive when there’s someone on a bicycle in front of you in the middle of your lane. Are you annoyed? Don’t be.

Ellen DeGeneres

So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.

Ellen DeGeneres

So let that be a lesson, kids who get an F in math. Ellen says you’re doing the right thing. You’re welcome, parents.

Ellen DeGeneres

So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.

Ellen DeGeneres

Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married.

Ellen DeGeneres

Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong – normally you wouldn’t say, thank God I have gas.

Ellen DeGeneres

That’s what life is all about. There’s a lot of crying. So you’d better cry now and get used to it.

Ellen DeGeneres