Ellen DeGeneres

My dream guests are really not so much celebrities. They’re people who are actually interesting and they’re doing something interesting with their lives or had an interesting experience in some way. I really enjoy talking to regular, everyday people.

Ellen DeGeneres

My father was a first reader in the Christian Science Church, which is similar to being a preacher. There was no drinking, smoking or cursing.

Ellen DeGeneres

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.

Ellen DeGeneres

No, we can’t be friends. You’re my mom. You’re what i talk to my friends about.

Ellen DeGeneres

Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

Ellen DeGeneres

Our flaws are what makes us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don’t even have to be an issue.

Ellen DeGeneres

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.

Ellen DeGeneres

People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant.

Ellen DeGeneres

People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they’ve been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don’t want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house.

Ellen DeGeneres