Carol Burnett

You have to really want it, and don’t take it personally if you don’t get a job. Because sometimes you’re not the type. And sometimes it’s somebody else’s turn.

Carol Burnett

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

Carol Burnett

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in ‘Dharma and Greg’ was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.

Carol Burnett

Because of YouTube, I’m getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids.

Carol Burnett

But I didn’t ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn’t even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.

Carol Burnett

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.

Carol Burnett

Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn’t a mean thought in his body. I’ve always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart.

Carol Burnett

Edgy is fine – I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination – but what’s wrong with a good ol’ belly laugh? I miss that.

Carol Burnett

Everybody I know who is funny, it’s in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don’t like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.

Carol Burnett

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Carol Burnett