Bob Hope

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.

Bob Hope

Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

Bob Hope

That’s life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score.

Bob Hope

The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.

Bob Hope

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.

Bob Hope

The last time I played golf with President Ford he hit a birdie. And an eagle, a moose, an elk, an aardvark…

Bob Hope

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

Bob Hope

The only time to believe any kind of rating is when it shows you at the top.

Bob Hope

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

Bob Hope

To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.

Bob Hope