Bob Hope

It was probably a coincidence, but right after I was born, my mom and dad left town.

Bob Hope

It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

Bob Hope

It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.

Bob Hope

Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.

Bob Hope

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar – I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

Bob Hope

Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.

Bob Hope

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.

Bob Hope

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Bob Hope

Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.

Bob Hope

President Eisenhower has given up golf for painting. It takes fewer strokes.

Bob Hope