Bob Hope

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

Bob Hope

Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.

Bob Hope

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

Bob Hope

I can still chase women, only downhill.

Bob Hope

I can’t give up Golf, I’ve got too many sweaters.

Bob Hope

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Bob Hope

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.

Bob Hope

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

Bob Hope

I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.

Bob Hope

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

Bob Hope