Bob Hope

Audiences are my best friends. You never tire of talking with your best friends.

Bob Hope

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Bob Hope

Congress may be going home for the holidays soon. How can you beat a Christmas gift like that?

Bob Hope

Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They’re all running for the Presidency.

Bob Hope

Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.

Bob Hope

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass.

Bob Hope

England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.

Bob Hope

Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.

Bob Hope

Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

Bob Hope

Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.

Bob Hope