Bill Cosby

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn’t because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

Bill Cosby

My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, ‘You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you.’

Bill Cosby

My father walked to school 4 o’clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and he was thankful.

Bill Cosby

My father wanted me to play pro football, and he didn’t like the fact that I’d left school. And he said, ‘It takes a man to play football. And any fool can go up on the stage and make an ass of himself.’

Bill Cosby

My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.

Bill Cosby

My feeling is, personally, I want to die first… because I believe that when you die, your soul goes immediately up for judgment – and I don’t want my wife up there first. No, the judgment will be horrendous.

Bill Cosby

My latest blood test said my cholesterol was very high and my doctor recommended some medicine for it. I said ‘no’ to his recommendation and he said ‘what are you going to do?’ I said I ate my way into this and I’m going to eat my way out of it.

Bill Cosby

My mother comes in my room and says, ‘Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!’ Now, I’ve already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to look at it.

Bill Cosby

My observations are not bread crumbs. They do not dissolve. They are on record, on film printed in books, and found on the Internet. I am happy to share them. For this I was born.

Bill Cosby

My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.

Bill Cosby