Bill Cosby

I managed my life to the point that at age 19 I was still in high school. I decided I was too old to be walking down those hallways.

Bill Cosby

I never saw anything funny in a car commercial – but that’s ok. Whatever they wanted to do – it’s their product and I’m the spokesperson, and I’m going to deliver.

Bill Cosby

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.

Bill Cosby

I said to a guy, ‘Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful,’ and he said, ‘Because it intensifies your personality.’ I said, ‘Yes, but what if you’re an asshole?’

Bill Cosby

I see Obama as Sisyphus in the first four years. And nobody would speak about the size of the rock, or the elevation of the hill. All you hear people talk about is what he didn’t do.

Bill Cosby

I tell stories. Because I believe you can do things that joke tellers can’t do, and that is, bring your audience along.

Bill Cosby

I think I am a good running back, but I’m really not that fast. There is only one thing I can do, that is throw a cross-body block. Picture perfect. I love it. Not that good at pass blocking.

Bill Cosby

I use the exercise room early, because I don’t want to get on the treadmill and everyone’s going ‘Oh, Bill Cosby,’ and then they come around to see how fast I’m walking, and it becomes very competitive.

Bill Cosby

I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.

Bill Cosby

I was 23 years old, a freshman at university, and there I was, on the first day, sitting in a remedial English class. I was so ashamed I almost got up and left, but somehow I knew inside that if I ran away from this, I would hate myself forever.

Bill Cosby