Andy Rooney

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

Andy Rooney

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

Andy Rooney

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

Andy Rooney

The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.

Andy Rooney

The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.

Andy Rooney

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

Andy Rooney

The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn’t necessarily the one who can teach it best.

Andy Rooney

The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.

Andy Rooney

The trouble with dictionaries is, they tell you more about words than you want to know without answering the question you have.

Andy Rooney

There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.

Andy Rooney